Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I have peed in a lot of sinks
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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