Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
