Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
