If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
