do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
