drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
