You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
