i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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