He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
