Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
i can juggle bunnies
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
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Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare