I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?