What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
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we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
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He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.