just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
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I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
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And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me