At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
