when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize