this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
