Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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