Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
