i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
