i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
