so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
