Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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