Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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