hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
