My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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