why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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