Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize