shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
