I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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