Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
