I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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