I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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