She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
