haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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