Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
