the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
