I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
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the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
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Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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