Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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