She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
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not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
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I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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