This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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