I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
