FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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