im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
