There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think your dad took our porno
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
