I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize