i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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