I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
