I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Banned from zoo.
Again?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
