you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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