i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
