im drinking this country out of the recession.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
