where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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