i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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