waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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