Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
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She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
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I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize