You just made me feel so damn special
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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