I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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