How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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