He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
