I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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