I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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