Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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